WEEK 46 | When Your Feet Don’t Touch the Ground.
November 18-24, 2024
Scattered.
We spend our whole lives seeking out who we are. We’re often defined by where we grow up, our careers, the people we surround ourselves with… but is that truly the essence of one’s self? Or is there more to that picture? From 2019 to 2022, Kim Namjoon pondered this question often.
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Namjoon in the “Wildflower feat. youjeen” M/V
After BTS renewed their contract with Big Hit in 2018 and left behind all talk of disbandment, they charged full speed ahead into their next project and promotions. RM was left feeling… stretched thin. More and more doors were opening for BTS around the world. More awards were coming to them, and with them—increased press coverage. RM, as the leader and the sole member who was fluent in English, had to take point on countless interviews in the U.S. and other western countries. Some of these interviews were great, but a lot of them were not. Many interviewers only asked superficial questions (“What’s your favorite American food?” “Do you all have girlfriends?” “What’s your dream collaboration?”) Occasionally the questions or comments were so ridiculous, he didn’t even bother translating for the rest of the members.
Despite this, he handled the additional pressure with the same poise and confidence he always did. And as the group suddenly began to rise to the heights of superstardom, he found himself yearning to feel the ground beneath his feet again. Predictably, he turned to his touchstone: writing. Over the next few years, amidst the craziness of BTS’ massive “Love Yourself” world tour, and then the sudden screeching halt the Pandemic brought everyone to, RM reflected on himself and wrote. And wrote. And then wrote some more.
As early as 2017, the groundwork was being laid for Namjoon’s first studio solo album. He came up with a word that kept floating around in his head: “flowerwork”. He knew the word didn’t exist, and it sounded a bit strange, but he wrote it down and kept playing around with it anyway. It sounded like “firework”, but gentler, calmer. Fireworks are grand displays that everyone comes to see. They’re beautiful, and they have the power to unite in a way that few other things do. So what was a “flowerwork”? Instead of an explosion of lights and sounds high up in the sky, it was a colorful bunch of flowers close to the ground. Smaller, but just as beautiful.
In 2022, while appearing on the “Zach Sang Show” (one of the best American interviewers in the game), Zach asked him what his goals were while working on his album. RM thought carefully for a moment and replied that he didn’t have goals for himself. Goals were for the team—for BTS. The group flew high, but RM wanted to stay closer to the ground. He wanted to understand how he fit in and related to the world around him.
BTS was the firework… Namjoon, the “flowerwork”.
This week we’ll explore the process by which RM navigated himself and the members of BTS through unprecedented global upheaval and an insane rise in fame, all while chronicling the latter half of his twenties and searching for himself through the medium of art. This is the journey of RM’s first solo album, 2022’s Indigo.
Playlists & Lyrics
RM: INDIGO SPOTIFY PLAYLIST (link)
RM: SINGLES AND COLLABORATIONS PART 2 TRANSLATION COMPILATION (pdf)
ARMY PROJECT 529 WEEK 46 VIDEO PLAYLIST (all YouTube links)
DAY ONE:
Namjoon Namjooning on a lovely day
When the Covid-19 Pandemic hit in 2020, the world came to a sudden stop. The virus was fast, and deadly. Not knowing exactly how it was spread or how we could stop it, we were forced to quarantine. Schools and businesses closed, people worked from home when they could—others lost their jobs completely. Every day the news was grim; we were all scared, and feeling powerless.
As the weeks went on, and the news got worse, we all realized this wasn’t going to be over quickly. Weeks of lockdown turned into months. Stuck at home, unable to socialize in person with friends or family, we all began to go a bit stir-crazy. Netflix and YouTube became our best friends. We began picking up old hobbies or discovering new ones. A lot of us went on a weird bread-making journey. (Does anyone else remember looking up “sourdough starters” online?) Some got into fitness and/or spending time outdoors. We went on walks, and started riding bikes again.
Fun fact about Kim Namjoon: he’s never had a driver’s license and cannot drive a car. Some, like SUGA, would argue that this is for the benefit of world peace and everyone’s health as Namjoon can’t usually be trusted to handle machinery of any kind without breaking it. RM has been wishy washy about why he’s never bothered to get a license, giving different answers at different times, but one reason we know for sure is that he loves riding bicycles. He’s always had one, and has spent many hours riding around Seoul, in particular down in the parks near the Han river.
During the Pandemic he, like many of us, rode his bike A LOT. It gave him time to think, and to (you guessed it) write. He realized that most of the time he ended up on his bicycle it was because he was sad, and looking to be taken out of his mood. With travel restricted, and him not able to drive a car, being on his bike was when he felt the most free.
Riding a bicycle always makes my heart flutter, but when placing my two feet on the pedals, I always feel somewhat sad. Perhaps it’s because there are many things I long for.. But the reason is not clear even to me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t driven a car since I don’t have a driver’s license. Anyway, when riding a bicycle is the time, one of the rare times, when I feel the freest physically.
It seemed natural that he’d end up writing a song about this. “Bicycle” was released in 2021 during FESTA and it was a collaboration with John Eun (last week we covered his song “Hope” which featured RM). The lyrics invite all of us to stop for a moment and just do something that makes us happy, like riding a bicycle. Simple, but considering the times we were living in then, very welcome.
When sad, let’s ride a bicycle
Let’s have the wind blow beneath our two feet
Oh, let’s ride a bicycle,
with our two arms spread out freely
As 2022 rolled aroud, RM hopped on another amazing collaboration, this time with Balming Tiger, self-described as a “South Korean alternative musical collective”. He penned and performed a verse on their track “Sexy Nukim”, a trippy, oddly seductive-sounding song which spreads the message that an artist’s aura, or their “sexiness” isn’t tied to their looks, but rather their attitude and their music. RM appeared in the M/V with them as well, and it includes a shout out to something that he thinks makes him particularly sexy… his bicycle.
Oh Namjoon, never change.
"BICYCLE" LIVE | FESTA (1:14)
"BICYCLE" | FMV (HYYH VER) (3:24)
"BICYCLE" | FMV (TRAVEL VER) (3:24)
RM (BTS), THE18TH BREAST CANCER AWARENESS CAMPAIGN CHARITY EVENT (3:01)
"SEXY NUKIM" (BALMING TIGER FEAT RM) | OFFICIAL M/V (3:53 - as shown above)
BANGTAN EPISODE "SEXY NUKIM" (BALMING TIGER FEAT RM) M/V SHOOTING SKETCH (4:29)
"SEXY NUKIM" (BALMING TIGER FEAT RM) | PERFORMANCE VIDEO (3:51)
BALMING TIGER TALKS ABOUT RM FEATURE ON "SEXY NUKIM" | GET REAL (2:01)
"SEXY NUKIM" (BALMING TIGER FEAT RM) LIVE | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (2:41)
RM & J-HOPE (BTS), "SURPRISED BY THE APPEARANCE OF '94 LINERS'" (1:58)
"SEXY NUKIM" (BALMING TIGER FEAT RM) LIVE | W KOREA (4:57 - as shown below)
BONUS: KOREAN ART IN AMERICA: LACMA 'THE SPACE BETWEEN: THE MODERN IN KOREAN ART' (6:26)
BONUS: ‘THE SPACE BETWEEN: THE MODERN IN KOREAN ART’ | LACMA
Fun Fact:
Time for some more VLIVES.
When RM turns on the camera and goes live to hang out with ARMY he only has two modes: loquacious and prolific songwriter or introspective chaos demon.
There is no in between.
Anyway, enjoy this handful of livestreams, the last ones before VLIVE was absorbed into Weverse, from 2019 to 2022.
210713 SUDDEN LIVE ~~ | VLIVE (28:09)
220409 NAMJOON-SSI.. | VLIVE (34:31)
220721 HEWWO | WE-LIVE (36:27)
220912 HAPPY CHUSEOK AND MY BIRTHDAY... (1/2) | WE-LIVE (15:46)
220912 AGAIN (2/2) | WE-LIVE (12:57)
DAY TWO:
When RM was working on what would become Indigo, he wanted a slate that was simple and uncomplicated. BTS’ increased time in the spotlight after the success of their English Trilogy (“Dynamite”, “Butter” and “Permission to Dance”) was overwhelming and had him longing to get back to the basics of Kim Namjoon.
During their crazy promotion schedules for these songs (and the albums released in those years), they spent more time being interviewed by westerners than ever. They went on talk shows and award shows. Namjoon translated endlessly and made speech after speech. It left him feeling wrung out, and wanting to reconnect with his identity as a Korean.
RM in official promotional photoshoot for Indigo
Even still, despite how exhausting it all was, when promoting in the U.S. or other western countries, RM had many opportunities to meet a lot of the artists and producers he’d enjoyed and admired since his childhood. He couldn’t deny the importance and impact western music had had on his life.
Official Indigo promotional photoshoot
So the more that his vision for Indigo began to solidify in his mind, he realized what he wanted to do was celebrate both sides of the coin of Kim Namjoon—both his Korean and his western influences. For someone who loves working with other artists as much as he does, the idea made perfect sense for him. The album would be an tapestry of collaborations, all woven together to create a cohesive snapshot of RM navigating the last years of his twenties.
But Namjoon didn’t want to stop with just musical influences. The first song on Indigo is “Yun”, featuring neo-soul legend Erykah Badu. It’s an homage to Yun Hyong-keun, a South Korean artist known for combining the colors of earth and water whom RM greatly admires. His work was often a search for the truths in humanity through stripped down colors and textures. The song is about valuing that humanity Yun searched for and connecting with one's inner truth. The lyrics express a desire to live according to truth and to seek a deeper understanding of oneself.
I wanna be a human
‘Fore I do some art
It’s a cruel worldBut there’s gon’ be my part
Cuz true beauty is a true sadness
Now you could feel my madness
The line “true beauty is a true sadness” is adapted from a quote from Yun, when he said that “true beauty was true sorrow”. Humanity is a great equalizer. RM acknowledges this when he says “I wanna be a human ‘fore I do some art”. The message is again, simple: don’t forget the basics of who you are while in pursuit of your aristic endeavors, because you could end up losing yourself.
"YUN (WITH ERYKAH BADU)" LIVE IN SEOUL | 2022 ROLLING HALL (4:32)
"YUN (WITH ERYKAH BADU)" LIVE PERFORMANCE | NPR TINY DESK (3:59)
RM WAS WORRIED HE OFFENDED ERYKAH BADU | CLIP - ZACH SANG SHOW (1:17)
RM "STILL LIFE (WITH ANDERSON .PAAK)" OFFICIAL TEASER (0:31)
RM "STILL LIFE (WITH ANDERSON .PAAK)" OFFICIAL MV (3:14 - as shown above)
BANGTAN EPISODE: RM "STILL LIFE (WITH ANDERSON .PAAK)" MV SHOOT SKETCH (13:29)
"STILL LIFE (WITH ANDERSON .PAAK)" | COLOR CODED LYRICS (2:56)
"STILL LIFE (WITH ANDERSON .PAAK)" LIVE IN SEOUL | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (3:20)
"STILL LIFE (WITH ANDERSON .PAAK)" – RM LIVE IN NEW YORK | CLIP - DIA BEACON (2:56)
Bangtan Bubble: When you’re overwhelmed, how do you reset and get back to basics?
Let us know your answer in the comments below or on social media (include #BangtanBubble)!
DAY THREE:
Tablo & RM
Two weeks ago, I mentioned the song that got Namjoon interested in hip-hop—”Fly” by Epik High. Needless to say, the hip-hop trio was one of his biggest influences from that point moving forward. And by the time he was making Indigo, RM had already met Epik High numerous times. He had even become with friends with Tablo, one of their rappers. They’d been wanting to work on a song together for years, so Indigo seemed like a perfect opportunity.
“All Day” continues the theme of “humanity”. It’s an upbeat, energetic hip-hop track that warns us not to get caught up in the fake algorithms of social media, because it becomes all to easy to lose your individual color if you do.
All these ads these days are the same
They say enjoy your life however you want
They show cool people dancing in cool clothes
when in real life there are more people with two left feet
“Forg_tful”, with Korean singer-songwriter Kim Sawol, speaks directly to Indigo’s simplistic, stripped down nature. RM recorded it using basic instruments and simple sound effects—banging against a desk, rubbing denim together, whistling, and playing acoustic guitar. The song is an ode to some of the little oddities and quirks of humanity, like absent-mindedness (something Namjoon deals with frequently). The title is even an amusing play on the theme because the ‘e’ is missing, almost like it was forgotten.
RM at Dia Beacon
My favorite track on Indigo, “Closer” is a bit R&B, a bit lo-fi, and a lot of sexiness. On the surface, this collaboration with Korean Canadian singer Paul Blanco and British singer Mahalia, will make you feel like you’re cozied up in a hotel room with someone, indulging in a passionate love affair. Dig deeper and you’ll hear the notes of insecurity and desire for open communication.
Our relationships, be they romantic or not, play a big part in defining our humanity. We can’t understand it if we’re on our own constantly. It takes engaging and communicating with others to stay connected, and some might argue that love is the deepest human connection we can ever seek.
I get a feelin' sometimes
That I can't get close enough to you
I feel it most in the nighttime
Even though that's when I'm closest to you
If I could be under your skin
Closer than we've ever been (Uh-huh)
We'd be closer than we've ever been (Uh-huh, oh, ooh-ooh)
All I know is that when you hear Paul Blanco come in on his verse, if that doesn’t have you thinking about “connection”, I don’t know what will…
"FORG_TFUL" (WITH KIM SAWOL) LIVE | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (3:02)
"FORG_TFUL" (WITH KIM SAWOL) LIVE | WE-PICK CLIP - WEVERSE (2:41 - as shown below)
"CLOSER (WITH PAUL BLANCO, MAHALIA)" | COLOR CODED LYRICS (3:16)
RM "CLOSER (WITH PAUL BLANCO, MAHALIA)" X DECISION TO LEAVE COLLAB MV (3:33)
"CLOSER (WITH PAUL BLANCO, MAHALIA)" LIVE | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (3:45 - as shown above)
BONUS: RM INDIGO ALBUM MAGAZINE FILM (41:27 - as shown below)
Fun Fact
RM talks Indigo.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—there’s really not much I enjoy more than listening to Kim Namjoon talk about making music. It’s exciting when he’s talking about BTS albums, but there’s something even more special when he breaks down his own solo music.
This Weverse LIVE he did after the release of Indigo is a perfect example of the above. When RM breaks down his thoughts behind the songs and the artists he chose to collaborate with, the joy and pride in his voice is infectious.
Last week I mentioned his monumental growth from RM to mono. That’s nothing compared to the growth between mono. and Indigo. While always willing to self-reflect and look inward, one of the things I love most about this album is Namjoon’s examination of the outside world’s influence on his introspective search of self. It’s brilliant.
221202 RM INDIGO LIVE | WEVERSE (1:09:43)
DAY FOUR:
We know BTS loves to repurpose song titles, and it doesn’t matter if it’s through group songs or solo tracks or both. Last week we talked about RM’s 2017 collaboration with Wale, “Change”, a song about looking for the world to become a better place, and how we can affect change to make it happen. On Indigo, RM follows that up with “Change pt.2” which features producer eAoen.
RM in Change pt. 2
Rather than the song being a direct sequel to “Change”, it’s more of a parallel juxtaposition. “Change” is about positive energy and looking for the good in the world, while pt.2 is more of a sarcastic and pessimistic outlook on change. People and circumstances come in and out of our lives or pass us by every single day. “Things change, people change / Everything change” whether we want it to or not. We have to learn to accept that and adapt, so that we, too, can change.
Fuck my intеrviews in years ago
I'm whole different, not that anymore
Fuck that Wiki, fuck all those infos
What a stranger, I don't know this fool
”Closer” was a track that spoke about the importance of connection. “Lonely” is what can happen when you feel the lack of that. RM said he wrote this song while alone in his hotel room in Las Vegas during BTS’ “Permission to Dance On Stage” concert series there. The inspiration was as simple as the fact that he was sick of feeling stuck, lonely, and suffocated. The lyrics also explore the unique feeling of homesickness when you are in unfamiliar surroundings, and longing for having someone to connect with.
I’m fuckin’ lonely
All alone on an island
So fuckin’ lonely
Somebody call me
We’ve all been there. Loneliness and desire for connection. I’ve talked before how these are themes we find often in Namjoon’s writing. While he has certainly grown and matured through his years with BTS, some things have stuck with him. His relationship to loneliness being one of those things. The weight of fame seems to sit heavily on him at times, and we know when it becomes too much for him to bear… because he writes another song about it.
RM RECORDED "CHANGE PT. 2" WHILE DRUNK | CLIP - ZACH SANG SHOW (2:25)
"LONELY" LIVE | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (3:09 - as shown above)
"LONELY" | FMV (2:57)
"HECTIC (WITH COLDE)" LIVE | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (4:07 - as shown below)
"HECTIC (WITH COLDE)" | FMV (3:44)
BONUS: RM BREAKS DOWN HIS DEBUT ALBUM INDIGO | ZACH SANG SHOW (50:38 - as shown below)
Fun Fact:
RM grants himself a wish…
When considering promotions for Indigo, RM didn’t want to launch a full tour, or even try to organize a series of showcases around Asia. No, he just had a few simple goals in mind.
One of those was to perform a concert at a venue he’d dreamed of since he was a child—Rolling Hall in Seoul. On December 5, 2022 he got his wish. He gave a concert for around 200 lucky ARMYs, and performed songs from his album. He was even joined by a few of his collaborators including Paul Blanco, Colde, and youjeen.
The performances are real, raw, and so very RM. It’s quiet and simple, not a lot of flash, but plenty of substance. Though there’s no choreo, or even elaborate set dressing, he holds the audience in the palm of his hand the entire time. It’s one of my favorite concerts I’ve ever watched.
DAY FIVE:
“Wildflower” Official M/V
Do you remember the first time you heard “Wildflower”?
I do. I had just moved across several states after ending a long-term relationship and had landed back in my hometown. I was broken, my emotions raw and exposed, and all I wanted to do was hide in a hole until everything was better. But it was the holidays, and all of my friends and family were excited to have me back after I’d lived somewhere else for nearly a decade.
I’d discovered BTS a few month prior, over the summer, and throwing myself down the rabbit hole was one of the ways I dealt with the writing I didn’t want to see on the wall of my personal life at the time. I was still very much Baby ARMY and didn’t have much exposure to any of their solo works, even within BTS. So when Indigo released not long after I moved, I latched on to it like a lifeline.
I randomly clicked on the M/V for “Wildflower” one day, having discovered its existence by accident. Less than a minute later, I was sobbing.
In the intro I discussed RM’s idea of “firework” vs “flowerwork”. The world of BTS is larger than life. “Wildflower (feat. youjeen)” is about RM’s desire and struggle to live like humble, tranquil wildflowers rather than a flashy spectacle.
When all things I believed in drifted away from me
When all this fame turned into shackles
Please, take this greed away from me
No matter what it takes
Oh, please let me stay myself
In the midst of my heartbreak, and my life being in upheaval, I often found myself longing for quiet simplicity, for a way to get back to feeling like myself. To hear Namjoon struggling with similar feelings was such a comfort to me. And as I watched him laying down and smiling in that beautiful field of flowers in the M/V, it felt like he helped me to let go of some of that pain. I had found my moment of quiet. I often think back to that day and hope that Namjoon is always able to find his moments as well. No one deserves them more.
"WILD FLOWER (WITH YOUJEEN)" | OFFICIAL TEASER (0:51 - as shown)
EPISODE: "WILD FLOWER (WITH YOUJEEN)" M/V SHOOTING SKETCH (14:13)
"WILD FLOWER (WITH YOUJEEN)" LIVE | CLIP - 2022 ROLLING HALL (4:52 - as shown)
BONUS: JUNGKOOK SINGING "WILD FLOWER" & "STILL LIFE" BY RM | WEVERSE LIVE 2023-02-02 (4:14)
"NO. 2 (WITH PARK JIYOON)" | OFFICIAL VISUALIZER + COMMENTS FROM RM AND JIYOON (7:39)
"NO. 2 (WITH PARK JIYOON)" LIVE | CLIP - DIA BEACON (3:11 - as shown)
BONUS: BTS RM (BTS' KIM NAMJOON) FIRST SOLO ALBUM INDIGO SELF-INTRODUCTION FULL VIDEO (9:54)
BONUS: IT'S 5 PM, AND THIS IS KIM NAMJUN. FULL | 2023 BTS FESTA (1:31:13)
Bangtan Bubble: Do you think you could handle the pressure that comes with fame?
Let us know your answer in the comments below or on social media (include #BangtanBubble)!
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Indigo is an album that I find myself returning to over and over again. At this point it’s like an old friend, yet I always find something new to appreciate about it when I listen again. Day in and day out (when he’s not in the military) Namjoon is faced with incredible wealth and fame. He leads a privileged life. But what I find so admirable about him is that despite that, he never wants to lose his humanity. Fame can go to people’s heads. RM remains determined to stay grounded in himself, and this is why his music is always so honest and genuine.
Speaking of which, next week we will wrap up Namvember with our coverage of the beginning of Chapter 2 for Namjoon, including his wandering through 2023 until his enlistment, and the secret project he drove us crazy with on his Instagram which ultimately turned out to be his second studio solo album, Right Place, Wrong Person…
Side Quest
The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge.
The Dictionary of Useless Knowledge is a South Korean television program hosted by RM and Jang Hang-jun and featuring panelists Kim Young-ha, Kim Sangwook and Dr. Shim Chaekyung. The series premiered on December 2, 2022 and concluded on January 27, 2023.
Soft, nerdy Namjoon being smart and wearing glasses? Sign me up!
The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge Promo Pic
CREDITS:
YouTube/Web
BANGTANTV, HYBE LABELS, ⟭⟬ BTS BORA WORLD ⟬⟭ Backup, 1theK (원더케이), AFBF7, ANPANMAN BTS BULLETPROOF ARMY, Balming Tiger, BangPink, boosqoowoo, BTS LIVE, BTS Live Archive, BTSLIVE!, Creative Ideas - Musarrat Khan, Dia Art Foundation, Edsubs, elisssa, Emvmin, ENHYPEN DRAMA ✓, Enjoy BTS More, gothkkyu, JAEGUCHI, Jenni Dawn, KOREA DISPATCH, LACMA, LEMORING, NPR MUSIC, PARK JIMW, S w e e t h . v, ShadowByYoongi, SPOTIFY, THE SEVEN, W KOREA, WEVERSE, Youtube KCCLA, ZACH SANG SHOW, Zach Sang Show Clips, 통통컬처, 피식대학Psick Univ; Web: ok:ru
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