We spend our whole lives seeking out who we are. We’re often defined by where we grow up, our careers, the people we surround ourselves with… but is that truly the essence of one’s self? Or is there more to that picture? From 2019 to 2022, Kim Namjoon pondered this question often. As his band, BTS, rose to the heights of superstardom, he found himself yearning to feel the ground beneath his feet again. This week we’ll explore the process by which he navigated his members through unprecedented global upheaval, all while chronicling the latter half of his twenties and searching for himself through the medium of art. This is the journey of RM’s first solo album, 2022’s Indigo.

Kim Namjoon has never been afraid of change. Which is good—adaptability is one of the most important qualities of leadership, and he happens to be the leader of the biggest music group in the world. In 2015, BTS released The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1, and it symbolized a significant change in the direction of their career. It was significantly different not only from BTS’ prior album era, but also to the mixtape Rap Monster had just put out about a month prior. RM was raw and often abrasive. The next couple of years of his and BTS’ career would continue to bring increasing amounts of change, which Namjoon would observe, analyze, and (of course) write about. By the time he released his next mixtape, mono. in late 2018, he was ready to share with the world how he’d developed both personally and artistically since his last project. Perhaps the most significant example of that growth he’d experienced, was the shift in his mindset from Rap Monster to RM… Real Me.

The beginning of 2013 brought a renewed sense of purpose to 18 year-old Kim Namjoon. He’d been a trainee at Big Hit Entertainment for three years, by that point, and as another new year was getting started, it felt like a make or break moment for him. In a series of VLOGs he filmed that January, he expressed both confidence and confusion… not unusual for someone his age. However, rather than ruminating on typical teenage worries like grades and relationships, he was dealing with warring narratives in his head over his budding music career. In one corner—the underground rap community he’d been part of before becoming a trainee—whispering in his ears that he was losing his edge and on his way to selling out. In the other corner—the higher ups at Big Hit—telling him he needed to forget his former peers and live up to his potential as a rapper. And at the center—a young man who was determined to share his talent with the world.

One of the reasons ARMY is the size that it is today is due to how free and honest the members have been with sharing themselves—sharing their true selves and feelings with their fans since the very beginning. The release of PROOF in June of 2022 was a testament to that. This week, we will take a look at the third and final disc of that album, which included raw and unfiltered demo versions of some of their hits, as well as some previously unreleased tracks. The world of K-Pop is always glossy—carefully crafted images and sounds. A lot of artists only want to present the polished final product to their fans, not the scrapped imperfections they had to get through along the way to making that product. However, from their beginning, BTS has proved themselves to be the opposite. While they’ve always wanted to perform their best for ARMY, they’ve also been extremely transparent on what it takes for them to get to that point. So it’s no surprise that even after achieving massive global fame and success, they were still taking the time to honestly show us how they got there—to show us their proof.

ARMY knows how much literal blood, sweat, and tears the members of BTS have put into their career over the years. How sleep deprived, hungry, and in pain they often were… particularly in the early days. Last week we began our exploration of the PROOF anthology album, and we discussed Disc 1, which was a nod to how far the group as a whole had come (including a retrospective look at their title tracks over the years) as well as a promise of hope for the future. This week, we’re covering Disc 2, which includes another brand-new song that talks about the hard work and dedication they put in to forge their path, as well as fourteen songs from their discography that the members selected themselves. Each member chose two songs, and we will learn why they picked them, and watch as they reflect on how these songs, and the journey they’ve been on in BTS, shaped who they are as individuals.

What is an anthology album? It’s a collection of favorite songs chosen by the compiler, and usually includes backlogged/unreleased content as well. Any artist, after they’ve been out for a few years and have a few releases under their belt can release a “Greatest Hits” album, but few have enough material, nor enough of an interested fanbase to warrant the creation of an anthology. Anthologies are meant to be a true retrospective of an artist’s career up to that point. I can name just a few others off the top of my head who have done it—Michael Jackson, The Rolling Stones, Queen, The Beatles. By 2022, this was the level BTS was playing at. They were about to release a celebration of how far they had come in their nine-year career. This week we’ll discuss the first disc of their anthology album, PROOF, which included a retrospective of all of their title tracks from 2013 to 2021, as well as a brand-new song, and a remastered version of one they’d released on SoundCloud just after they debuted.

At the end of February, 2020, BTS released MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 and announced that they’d be going on a massive world tour starting that spring to support it. Dates and locations were announced and when tickets went on sale, they sold out in record time. ARMYs around the world posted videos and screenshots after successfully making it through the stressful ticket-buying experience. Just weeks later, that elation would turn into disappointment as COVID-19 swept across the globe, causing the tour (and pretty much everything) to be canceled. Over the next six months, BTS would pivot and remake all their plans—instead of album promotions and touring, they would focus on connecting with ARMY through LIVEs, VLOGs, and online performances. And then, in August, they took their comfort mission one step further, by trying something they’d never done before—releasing a song entirely in English. Little did they know, this song they recorded as a gift to distract ARMY from the devastation of the Pandemic would launch their already impressive fame into the stratosphere. “Dynamite”, meant to be a random one-off, ended up changing the entire trajectory of their next few years, and truly—their entire career.

In late 2020, BTS held a global press conference to discuss the release of their next album. It had been three months since the release of their smash hit single “Dynamite”, and nine months since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. They weren’t supposed to be releasing an album at that time—if you remember our discussions from previous weeks, they were actually supposed to be on tour, supporting their last album, MAP OF THE SOUL: 7. The pandemic caused them to have to shift gears and replan. After “Dynamite”’s release and surprise success, it seemed natural to keep the momentum going with more music. During the press conference, Jimin mentioned that they hadn’t pre-planned anything for this album, so it had to come together very organically and with a lot of teamwork. They adapted, even though they were supposed to be doing something completely different. And that is one of the reasons why they chose to name the new album BE.

When ARMY talks about finding BTS, there is often a tinge of destiny woven into the conversation. I think most of us feel like we were always meant to have BTS as a part of our lives, no matter when we discovered them. And doesn’t it seem the same for them having found each other? It doesn’t seem possible that there could be a world in which Bangtan Sonyeondan did not exist. But their origin story is full of small “what ifs” and moments of complete chance. In 2019, the group, along with Takeone Company, developed and released a mobile game that explored the very idea of what could have happened if the members of BTS had not met and become an Idol group. It was called “BTS World” and it followed the members (and you, as their potential manager) trying to get them to Debut and beyond. But the game also shows us the other side of the coin… what life could have been like for the members without BTS, and how the idea of destiny brings people together even when it seems like it shouldn’t.