WEEK 28 | Love You So Bad

Monday Muster
Written By Quince

July 8 - 12, 2024

Frayed.

I have so many emotions going into writing the blog this week. We’ve reached my absolute favorite BTS album. Love Yourself 轉 'Tear' is just one amazingly iconic song after another, a lot of the ones I find myself going back to time and time again when I’m in a mood and I want to wallow in it. 

Elation. Hope. Excitement. Frustration. Confusion. Exhaustion. Shame. Anger.  

 

Love Yourself: Tear album

It’s all on this album—the second in the LYS trilogy. If Love Yourself 承 ‘HER’ is about the joy of discovering love, ‘Tear’ is mostly about what happens when we lose ourselves in love and it begins to tear us apart. It’s a visceral journey of searching for ourselves again, and finding a different and healthier version of love that will set us free rather than weigh us down. 

I’ve mentioned it several times before, but it was during the process of making this album that the members of BTS were seriously considering disbandment. They were overworked, physically exhausted, and emotionally wrecked. They each found themselves asking “Why am I doing this?” Love Yourself 轉 'Tear' is them working through that.

BTS LYS: Tear photo shoot


By the time the album was released on May 18, 2018 they’d already spent a lot of time soul-searching, but were all still at different stages of acceptance.  Was it worth it to continue on as BTS if it had to be at the breakneck pace they’d been moving at since Debut? It was a complicated question for them to answer, but they knew they couldn’t go on as they were. Things needed to change.

And this is how they found themselves talking about contract renewal almost a year and a half earlier than they needed to… with the goal of negotiating better terms moving forward. Terms that would allow them more freedom to work at a better pace, so they could be stronger for each other and for ARMY. 

“Fake Love” Teaser #2 (00:29)

 

Playlists & Lyrics

 
 

Skip to Content: Day One | Day Two | Day Three | Day Four | Day Five

 

DAY ONE:

We all have defining moments on our path to becoming ARMY, right? Moments when we hear or see something for the first time and it changes the entire trajectory of our journey down the rabbit hole… 

For me, one of those moments is the first time I ever heard “Intro: Singularity”. Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Quince, you’re biased.” And you’re correct. But I wasn’t back then. I was just a Baby ARMY rapidly consuming all the content I came across, starry-eyed and overwhelmed. I didn’t have a bias yet. I didn’t really know what that meant. But I do know that the first time I saw the M/V for this song, and heard the opening bass notes, along with V’s raspy baritone, I sat up and paid complete attention.

In early 2018, RM had surgery to repair a deviated septum. Shortly after he was discharged from the hospital, he wrote “Intro: Singularity”… in about three hours. As he was writing, it was V’s voice he heard singing the words. The lyrics convey a profound sense of uncertainty, loneliness, and a loss of one’s identity in the pursuit of making someone else happy.

A crack on this frozen lake, yet again

You know I threw myself in that lake

You know I buried my voice for you

On the winter lake I threw myself in

a thick ice has formed

The song is R&B through and through and, as previously mentioned, extremely bass-heavy. Between that, V’s slow, sultry vocals, and the intimate choreography, “Intro: Singularity” feels seductive. On the surface, this might seem like a misstep, but not when you consider how easy it is to fall into the trap of giving up yourself for the sake of pleasing someone else. How seductive the lure of promised bliss with someone you love is, no matter what it might cost you in self worth. It’s the kind of seduction that is hard to escape.


In physics, the term ‘singularity’ describes the center of a black hole, a point of infinite density and gravity within which no object inside can ever escape, not even light. With that thought in mind, it makes sense how this song could not have sounded any other way, nor have been sung by any of the other members. It’s the perfect opening for the album, setting us upon a path of deep introspection, and making us question what it is we think we know about love.

 

LYS: Tear - "Intro: Singularity" Comeback Trailer

Bangtan Bomb: LYS: Tear - Jacket Shooting Sketch

Bangtan Bomb: Jin & j-hope have fun with earrings.

 

Fun Fact

In the world of Bangtan, one of my greatest joys is listening to RM talk about the process of writing and making an album. And we know you all love it as well, so we’ve been diligent in bringing you all of his VLOGS and VLIVES in which he does so.

We will be including his full VLIVE on LOVE YOURSELF 轉 ‘TEAR’, where he breaks down all of the songs, two weeks from now… once we’ve covered the entire album. In the meantime, we wanted you to see a short VLOG he did about the album around the same time.

In this VLOG he talks a lot about how he and the other members have been feeling. It’s not hard to read between the lines since we know now how exhausted they were in the first half of 2018 and how close they had come to calling it quits and disbanding. RM says—very frankly—that the album is about sadness. And that he used his own recent sadness and frustration for inspiration.

Even so, he is positive about the experience. He says, “Sadness is, for sure, not always a bad thing.” It can lead to great creativity, and a new way to understand yourself.

He tells us which songs are his favorite, and briefly mentions the surgery he had for his deviated septum right before beginning to work on the songwriting. He also offers some encouraging words to ARMY and thanks them for taking time to encourage him as well. He wraps it all up with a wonderful declaration to himself:

“Kim Namjoon, I love you!”

VLOG: RM Talks LYS: Tear

 
 

DAY TWO:

We are now firmly in the era of BTS powerhouse songs. I feel like every time I turn around these days I’m writing about another incredibly iconic track, wondering if I’m going to be able to do it justice.

The deep questioning of “Intro: Singularity” is continued in the next song on the album. In fact, it’s V who has the opening line in “Fake Love”—one which comes swinging at us, right out of the gate:

BTS V in LYS: Tear photoshoot

If it was for you,

I could pretend that I was happy even if I was sad

If it was for you,

I could pretend that I was strong even if I was hurt

The pain and loneliness we hear in the album’s opening track is turned up to eleven in “Fake Love”. The speaker has realized what has happened—they’re looking into the mirror and don’t recognize the person that they see. And is that worth it? Is love built on a lie really love at all?

It’s important to remind everyone here of what I spoke about in the introduction. While making this album, and all of the content surrounding it, the members of BTS were exhausted. They were burnt out, and running on fumes. You can hear a lot of their frustration in some of the tracks, “Fake Love” in particular. When Jung Kook comes in on that pre chorus “Love you so bad, love you so bad” and the beat ramps up, don’t you feel it deep down in your gut? (Or is that just me?)

BTS Jungkook in LYS: Tear photoshoot

Love you so bad Love you so bad

I craft a beautiful lie for you

Love it’s so mad Love it’s so mad

I try to become your doll by erasing myself

This kind of thing can happen in all kinds of relationships, and that definitely includes the one between artists and their fans. BTS, while always being as genuine and honest as possible, are performers—they work to put on a show for us. To a degree, when the cameras are on, they too must be ‘on’. Perhaps this is part of what had the members questioning if they were still doing everything for the right reasons. They felt like they had been made into dolls for the public, and in return, had lost themselves.

BTS - "Fake Love" Official MV

 
 
 

"Fake Love" Dance Practice

Flash Forward: Bangtan Bomb "Fake Love" Special Stage (BTS Focus) 2019 GDA

 
 
 

Bangtan Bubble: Have you ever found yourself in a “fake love” situation?

 
 

Let us know your answer in the comments below or on social media (include #BangtanBubble)!

 

DAY THREE:

Yesterday we discussed how there are different types of relationships we can find ourselves lost in, not just romantic ones. The music video reinforces this point. In fact, in true BTS fashion, we never see romance being explicitly referred to in the M/V. But we do see allusions to social media, family-induced trauma, and struggles with mental health.

Iconic “Fake Love” Intro

V is surrounded by hundreds of glittering phones throughout the video, which might be a reference to how we can become too attached to social media, and the image we present there. We see j-hope has locked himself in a room full of bad memories related to his mother, while still trying to block the door against any further trauma entering (the candy bars). We also see Yoongi sitting at the piano, struggling to create, and then ultimately being surrounded by and caught up in a fire. RM delivers his verses from inside a shipping container, in which we’ve seen him living in other M/Vs from BTS’ fictional storyline. 

“Fake Love” is a part of the Bangtan Universe. In the extended teaser we have linked below, you’ll see each of the members entering the “Magic Shop” in order to trade in something they want to be rid of for a new item—something that would hopefully earn them brighter memories in the future. I can’t help but find symbolism in that as they were contemplating disbanding at the time.


Years later, on his episode of Suchwita, V admitted to us that he was so tired after filming the M/V for “Fake Love”— so desperate for a break—that he briefly considered getting purposefully injured. Not seriously injured, just enough that he would have an excuse to rest. This was a heartbreaking thing for ARMY to hear. We know that he came to his senses and nothing happened, but it’s moments like this that show us just how close the members were to calling it quits. We’re fortunate that they chose, instead, to turn to each other, and channel their feelings into negotiating better terms for their next contract renewal. 

After all, by that point… they had the leverage.

"Fake Love" Oficial MV (Extended Ver.)

 

"Fake Love" Comeback Stage at the BBMAs 2018

BTS on their New Album LYS: Tear and their BBMAS Performance Extra TV

BTS Celebrates "Fake Love" Release with the AMP Morning Show

 

Fun Fact

On April 8, 2018, just a little over a month before LOVE YOURSELF 轉 ‘TEAR’ came out, BTS released Face Yourself, their third Japanese album.


Like all of their other Japanese releases, Face Yourself included translated versions of some of their hits from previous Korean albums, as well as some brand-new Japanese-exclusive songs.

The first track, “Intro: Ringwanderung” emphasizes the title of the album. The word ringwanderung is a German term, and it refers to when you get lost while walking or hiking, so you keep walking the same way to make a circle, and eventually make your way back to the beginning. No matter how long you keep moving to try to avoid it, eventually you will have to ‘face yourself’.

BTS’ Japanese songs just hit a little different, right? Face Yourself has my three all-time favorites (“Don’t Leave Me”, “Let Go”, and “Crystal Snow”), so this album is always in heavy rotation on my playlists.

Below are links for all of the original Japanese content, including a particularly dangerous performance of “Let Go”. The choreography is… something, that’s for sure. Make sure you’re sitting down when you watch, that’s all I’m going to say.

BTS Japanese album “Face Yourself”

 
 

DAY FOUR:

I’d like to offer you a respite from the overwhelmingly deep, painful songs… but I can’t. We’re not at that point in the album yet. Hang with me though, because what I have for you today is probably my favorite Vocal Line song of all-time: “The Truth Untold”. 

RM in LYS: Tear photo shoot

BTS collaborated with Steve Aoki again, asking him to step outside of his typical genre to produce this gorgeous piano ballad for them. The song was also co-written by Aoki, along with RM and a few others, and is loosely based on an Italian folktale called “La Città di Smeraldo”. It tells the story of a man who hides in his house because he is afraid to show his true self. He falls in love with a woman he sees stealing flowers from his garden to sell, but cannot bring himself to talk to her. So he grows a special flower for her, the “Smeraldo”, in hopes that it will earn her more money, but she unfortunately dies before she can see it.


The lyrics of the song reflect this desire to hide away from someone we love, scared they won’t be able to accept or love us for who we truly are, while still struggling with the desire for meaningful connection. 

You know that I can’t

Show you ME

Give you ME

Can’t show you my miserable self,

So, yet again, I wear a mask and go to meet you

But I still want you                                          

Jimin in LYS: Tear photo shoot

The emphasis on ‘ME’ hits home—as in, I can give you what I think you want, but not my real self. For any of us who have felt like we couldn’t be ourselves around our loved ones, this sentiment is beyond relatable. It’s visceral. Especially when paired with the Vocal Line’s performance. Individually they deliver raw emotion, building up the tension one after another until it finally crescendos into a round robin of gorgeously heartbreaking harmonies. It leaves you wrung out at the end, yet— as Jimin softly croons the final “But I still want you…”—also hopeful.

And that hope leads us to now. In recent years, the members have told us time and time again that they want to tell us more, they want to be more honest with us… they finally want to shrug off the burden of “The Truth Untold”. This seems to be their goal once they are back from the military. Let’s do our best to be worthy of that trust and honesty. Let’s always give ourselves back to BTS as they give themselves to us.

"The Truth Untold" Live

 

BTS on New Album LYS: Tear (Full interview)

BTS playing with Puppies while answering questions

When the Vocal Line cannot remain serious during "The Truth Untold" Live performance

 

Fun Fact:

We know all too well how much BTS likes to play the long game with ARMY when it comes to hidden Easter Eggs in content, or hints on social media that make no sense at the time, but paaaaaaaay off months, sometimes even years later.

This is especially true when it comes to the Bangtan Universe. As I mentioned already today, “The Truth Untold” and the story of the ‘smeraldo flower’ is deeply entrenched in BU lore.

Our own Exec. Volunteer, Leslie Day has written a blog on this very topic that will be dropping a little over a week from now, just before Jimin’s new album releases. The content we’ve received so far for MUSE has already shown it also has connections to “The Truth Untold” and the fictional ‘smeraldo’ flower. Here’s a sneak peek at Leslie’s upcoming blog:

The first entry of the “Smeraldo Blog” hints at a store opening in mid-September. BTS’s comeback was later revealed to be September 18, 2017 with the release of Love Yourself 承 ‘Her’. We got Easter Eggs through the whole series of blog posts, including the line “non potevo dire la verità”, which translates to “the truth that cannot be told.” This is the basis for the BTS’ song “The Truth Untold”, which appears on the album Love Yourself 轉 'Tear'. I didn’t mistype that, folks. They teased a song from the second album in the ‘Love Yourself’ trilogy eight months before it dropped in May of 2018. It was also before the first album in the series had even been released.

Below are links to the Smeraldo blog Leslie mentioned above, as well as more info on how it relates to “The Truth Untold”, and an explanation video from one of YouTube’s most well-know BTS channels: “xCeleste”. Enjoy!

 
 

DAY FIVE:

Real photo of Pluto. To view it live 3D click here

Did anyone else feel a little sad when Pluto was demoted and lost its status as a planet? It was kind of like, “Awww, little buddy. So sorry.” Kind of felt like losing a relationship we’d barely gotten to know, right? No? Just me?


“134340” is the number code given to Pluto by asteroid scientists after its 2008 re-classification as a ‘dwarf planet’, and it also happens to be the name of the fourth track on Love Yourself 轉 'Tear’. The song tells the story of a love that is dwindling, a bond that is growing smaller and less significant, much like what happened with Pluto.

If only I could, I wanted to ask

why you did so back then, why you threw me out

Without a name to myself, I still orbit you

Our goodbye became meaningless; that unchanging color


Pluto seems to be addressing the sun, which he feels has rejected him, but he says he will continue in his orbit, even though he’s being made to feel “less than”. This directly continues the themes from “Intro: Singularity” and “Fake Love”—giving up yourself for the sake of a relationship that isn’t equal or fulfilling.

Pluto & Persephone Statue “The Abduction of Proserpina”

Pluto is also the Roman name for Hades, the Greek god of the Underworld. When Hades saw Persephone, the daughter of Demeter, he instantly fell in love with her and stole her away to the Underworld. Demeter tried to bargain for her return, and Hades finally relented, but Persephone had eaten food from the Underworld, and that act made her part of it forever. However, since she had only eaten six pomegranate seeds, Demeter and Hades compromised that she would spend the same number of months in the Underworld and the other half of the year with her mother. This is the Greek mythology tale of how we came to have seasons. During autumn and winter, when nature is dying, Persephone is with Hades, and Demeter weeps for her loss. We get a reference to this as well in the song “134340”:

Perhaps I wasn’t there at all from the beginning

Some day, you’ll also understand my words

My seasons were always you

My cold heart is at -248 degrees

 

The song is bittersweet and melancholic, giving a sense of detachment, as one might feel in a fading relationship. It’s longing for connection again… mourning a love lost, and bemoaning a growing sense of emptiness. But as we’ve learned before, a relationship in which you are not yourself is not worth having. It's better to take some time to detach for a moment and self-reflect, just as BTS always does.

"134340" (Pluto) Stage Mix 5th Muster & Fanmeeting Vol. 5 2019

 

Past and Future of BTS | Entertainment Weekly

 

VLIVE: BTS "134340" Behind the scene story LYS: Tear Clip

BTS Explain the story in their New Album LYS: Tear with Billboard

 
 
 
 

Bangtan Bubble: Tell us about a moment when you felt lost like 134340? How did you overcome it?

 

Let us know your answer in the comments below or on social media (include #BangtanBubble)!

 
 

FINAL THOUGHTS:

We’re only on the first week of Love Yourself 轉 'Tear', and it’s already pretty epic. How do you feel after all that loneliness and uncertainty? I know none of us like to think of BTS being unhappy, but remember what we learned last week from “Sea”—without hardships and despair, there can be no hope. 

And we’ll have some of that coming soon… I promise. Next week we’ll take all of our bad feelings and we’ll turn them into something positive as we say “So What” and enter the “Magic Shop”...

BTS LYS: Tear album

 
 
 

Side Quest

We can’t possibly STILL be in Season Two of Run BTS! can we? I assure you, we can.

The laughs continue to be epic. Episode 41 brings us an iconic long-running BTS meme; Jimin completely misunderstands j-hope during a round of the headphones game and trIes to make “Lachimolala” a real word. (And I mean, ask any ARMY, it is a real word now.)

We have obstacle course fun in episode 42, in which V makes the saddest jump attempt ever. Episodes 43 and 44 have the members playing games that explore the fives senses and the results are… legendary. In episode 45, they learn how to be baristas and (try to) make coffee. The other members won’t let Jimin breathe for two seconds while he works and the palpable panic on his face is hilarious.

We come to understand in episode 46 that while V might be a talented artist in some ways, pottery is perhaps not his forte. But he redeems himself in the “Protect the Town” episodes by giving us one of the earliest glimpses of his masterful talent for cunning and deceit.

Never go up against Kim Taehyung during a land war in Asia, that’s all I’m saying.

RUN BTS! - EP. 47 [Protect the town] Part 1

 
 

RUN BTS! - Ep. 39

 
 
 

CREDITS:

YouTube/Web

HYBE LABELS, BANGTANTV, Bangtan Subs, 97.1 AMP, AnCu Music, BANGSTAN 2, Billboard, Brilliant, BTS BEING BTS, BTS Live Archive, BuzzFeed Celeb, chimchim, emmachimes, Enjoy BTS more, Entertainment Tonight, extratv, J-14 Magazine, KimJeon RH, KBS WORLD TV, LimitNoMore, loocia, MBCkpop, Mnet Kpop, Murmast, People, xCeleste, princessbrainy, SBSKPOP X INKIGAYO, taekookuwu, Veauchimful, VIANICA, WhatchaGot2Say, NASA; Web: thebtseffect.com

ARMY Project 529 Volunteers

Research Team: Angel (TikTok: Lilangel2828), Leslie Day (TikTok: Leslie Day), Merry (TikTok: merryj67), Sam T (TikTok: samt_26), Shelley (TikTok: shels167), Trudy (TikTok: theeducationmommy), Viv (TikTok: VivEliz); Video Team: Leslie Day (TikTok: Leslie Day); Editing Team: Kendra (Discord: Mudskipper); Website Team: Colette (TikTok: voicesinmyhead2)

 
 

Join us on TikTok every Sunday evening at 8pm ET for #the529live, a wrap up of each week's The 529 Connection. It’s hosted by AP529 Founder, Stefne, on her channel (@StefARMYProject529). If you can't watch live and want to watch later, Lives will be recorded and posted to our YouTube (@ARMY Project 529).

Quince
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WEEK 27 | Take Off the Mask